First day as a lab TA (teaching assistant)

First of all, don't think too highly of a lab TA's responsibility in CS1102C. I am not responsible to go through the exercises as in tutorials. On odd weeks, there are take-home labs. These labs are to be attempted by the students themselves at home. I just need to be in the lab for 1 hour to answer any questions the students might have. Students can even don't turn up for these labs. On even weeks, I need to invigilate a 2 hour sit-in lab (kinda a mini test). I don't need to answer any questions in these labs. Ok, at least, that was on paper.

So, I was quite relaxed. I thought I would just glance through the questions and try out some tougher portions. But, yesterday, I received a document from prof. It is a powerpoint document which contains hints about the exercise. He told us to go through the slides. . . Well, that was like "okie...". That just forced me to try out the questions thoroughly, didn't it?

So, anyway, although my efforts are not recognized (I will explain later why), I did a solid preparation so that I would have no problem going through the slides. Besides, I also thought of this. Even though this is supposed to be attempted by the students themselves, should there be any student who find them hard, I don't want to disappoint them; I am one of the persons they would approach. I might not be perfect but I will do my best to help them.

Before the lab, I expected tough questions. CS1102C is notorious to be tough, so is CS1101C (pre-requisite of CS1102C). So, naturally, my initial impression was that students trained by CS1101C (I was not because I was exempted from taking the module) would shoot me tough questions. But, as I said, I prepared well and I was confident.

During the lab, there were some disappointments.

- First: my partner TA didn't turn up.

- Second: I started punctually. My quick survey showed that no student needed me to go through the how-to guides. Basically, they are unimportant instructions like how to connect to school server, etc. So, I was about to go through the slides. But, prof suddenly appeared and asked me to wait for students to come in. I think by then, it was already nearly ten minutes past the starting time. He then gave a short briefing and when he left, twenty five minutes were gone. I was slightly uncomfortable with the amount of time left as I still have the slides and the Q&A (with no partner TA). I learnt that my partner was just assigned this morning so he would only come in next week.

- Third: Almost no student seemed to have attempted it. I don't blame them for not attempting it. I understand the busy schedule of NUS students, being one myself. But, this is an optional lab. I wonder if they hadn't tried the question, why didn't they simply don't turn up? There is no attendance. They also don't need to come for the hints because no marks are awarded. I mean if they hadn't tried the lab, instead of coming in, they can use this time to try it. Well, perhaps, they just came because this is the first lab. No matter what, I felt I was caught in between. They hadn't tried the question yet I was not going to let them to, because I would soon be disturbing them by going through the slides.

- Fourth: I tried to make it short but I failed to. The slides gave only hints but they covered quite a large portion of the problem. I don't know how to go through them without explanation. I tried to see if what I was doing was unnecessary but the feedback was poor, or my skill to elicit it was.

- Fifth: No tough questions but no eagerness to participate either. Again, that's exactly why I am irritated. If they don't feel like participating, they can just don't come. What's the point coming in just to ignore me point-blank? Well, maybe they just came for the first lab.

- Sixth: When I finished exactly at the end time (yes, I took too long), I had a number of students with trailing questions from the slides. Answering them took 20 minutes. My soft heart took another 15 minutes. Shutting down the equipment took 5 minutes. I missed my lunch.

Why am I so reluctant to help? Because I was told not to. How? By not paying me. It was made clear that lab TAs for CS1102C will only be paid for the time during class. No outside class preparation work will be paid. Don't get me wrong. Money is not the driving factor here (although I cannot deny I want it). It's because I cannot handle the emotion of feeling stupid. For every extra minute I work, a little voice in my head tells me "You are so stupid. The school doesn't recognize it. Students are just using you. Or, you are just being a busybody."

Don't worry. I am not feeling too bitter about it. I wrote this long because I was so bored with my data analysis assignment. Anyway, from the next lab onwards, I will do my best to help my juniors within the allocated time.

Addendum: I think this post sounds like a complaint. I am sorry if so. I don't mean to. I just wanted to write my experience and my feelings, especially the conflicting emotion I had.